"I wish I could no longer be in love with her,

but shooting stars won't grant it.

I wish I had never fallen in love with her,

but fate had already planned it."

- Kamiz

Stuck?

This, coming from personal experience.....

You'll always be stuck. Why? You're still wondering why you weren't good enough. The thing is, it's not that you weren't good enough but your quality wasn't appreciated. So, until you realize that you're one of God's greatest creations, you'll always be stuck in the same place. The longer you remain, the more cemented you become. The more you search for answers in that bad place, the more you'll try to regain control, the lesser your self-worth will become. You try so hard to be in control, but that will never happen. Let it go, realize that you're worth way more and yes, it might be hard, but it's for the greater good.

Life...

Life isn't fair, but it's still good. Life is too short-- enjoy it. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present and the future. It's OK to let your children see you cry.Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. If a relationship has to be secret, you shouldn't be in it. Take a deep breath, it calms the mind. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. It's never too late to be happy. But it's all up to you and no one else. When it comes time to go after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. Burn the nice candles, use the nice sheets, wear the nice lingerie, wear the nice clothes. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.Over prepare, then go with the flow. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years will this matter?' Always choose life. Forgive but don't forget. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.If we all threw our problems in a pile and we saw everyone else's, we'd grab our's back. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need. Yield. Friends are the family we choose. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

(Regina Brett: www.reginabrett.com)

Mayonnaise Jar

Some of you might know this already. It hasn't lost it's value though. So profound.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the drinks.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the cans of beverage represented.
 

The professor smiled. "I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of drinks."

....So, Start Searching

It's A Myth...But Not Really

"Your respect is as high as your demand and with the love you have to give, she cant help but pause her time hoping that you will find her. You're the one good thing that's left so she has nothing but time to give. You know how to point out the worth in others but your downfall is you have yet to find the worth in yourself. To find it is to find her, so start searching.." and this is just a myth..it will never happen in the way you expect it..so be decisive..if you wanna settle, settle, if you don't wanna, keep it moving.

Reflections: Decisions When You're Young

When you're young, you just wanna have fun. Sometimes it's limitless and reckless, but it's fun, right? Well, the reality of it is that some don't make it out of the phase without long-term or even life-long reminders of where they went wrong and how they should've listened to their "mom's" wise words. But, while you contend with the "scars" from your past, where is your "party-animal" now? How has it helped you to deal with the issues? Where is the liquor? Has the dare-devil been exorcised? As far as I see it, the best way to learn if to look at the mistakes of others. 

Become familiar with the term "delayed gratification". It's not a popular term in our day, age and generation. We want it now. Instantaneously. 

I'm not gonna sit around this desk, write the blog entry and tell you that I've been this perfect person. For me to be writing this to you, it took a certain amount of experience and analysis of it to come to these conclusions. Yes, this is just a reflection on my life.So:
1. There is no halfway. You're either bad or good.
2. Mistakes are stepping stones. Become stronger from downfalls.
3. Do not worry about going slowly. Worry about being stagnant.
4. Better choices save you time, money and tears.
5. Friends MAKE you or BREAK you.

Is It What It Is? Can You Change It?

It is what it is, it's not what it's not..sometimes it also is what it's "not" and of course, sometimes it's NOT what it "is".

What am I saying? My belief in "fate" and "destiny" is really limited when I plug "freedom of choice" into the equation.

It is a fact that decision making and that factors that affect it can change the course of your life forever.

I like to liken life to my favorite sport, basketball. Basketball is a game of runs. Sometimes you're on a roll, scoring a lot of points, making good defensive plays, then the opponent either steps it up or you get complacent and you begin losing momentum, and you end up trailing and if you don't catch yourself and go on another run, you lose the game.

Pro-Basketballers have film sessions after each game, win or lose. In film sessions, they watch the tape of the game. They evaluate the game, see what could be better, and see what else they can do to exploit their opponent in the next game.

I think that in life, we should have regular film sessions. We should regularly evaluate where we are, what we're doing and what we can do to enhance our experience for best results.

In my next post I will explore how this could have helped me to avoid my latest "tragedy".