Escape...

A trap, a cage, a prison? A deliberate attempt and clever attempt to fool the trapped into thinking they're actually free...until the side effects begin to surface..It's different from the traditional snares whose evils can normally be spotted from a thousand miles away..In order to escape I have to define it..By the time I think about it, it's time to engage in another of its supposed liberties..I guess human nature would be the closest thing to an excuse for this behavior..but..what is there to escape from? How can a myriad of side effects compare to a few hours, @ times minutes, of 'fun'? Suddenly, while writing this, I realize that this is not new...It's been happening forever..What's new is my resolve to escape, which I must do, in order to 'live', but then again, time is promised to no man. Shucks...All I have is now!

A-mazing..

Yeh..you're ma number one..you don't have to ask..Living with/without you leaves me with a mask..So that I can truly hide the delight lest my sanity finds its way out..body armor up to the throat because I wanna remain alive to be with you because my heart wants to come out of my chest in due loyalty..your lips, them thighs, your eyes lead to open skies..in the windows to heaven I see, a reflection of the damsel with who I wanna be...So profound with that opinion, lawyers quake in their gowns, whoever said you're a loser is a circus reject..cuz even clowns get serious n break their act when they hear u speak & look @ you from front to back..side to side..up and under...over and out..this feeling welling up inside makes me wanna shout!Free me..free my love...You're ma number one, I'm sure..whether I end up rich or God forbid poor..but that doesn't matter does it?Cuz my love is free..my only guarantee..not silver nor gold..not that SUV..lol..Its all in a dream n I pray, when will I get my amazing one right..Oh Jeez.I pray it's tonight..A-mazing..that's who you are..leading the pack by far..You're ma number 1 that's what I'm about..all I'll say is, make it count..

Be Wise...

The Figure Will Wither, The Beauty Will Fade, So Youthful Stupor You Must Evade..Love Those Who Love You & Keep Them Near So When Those Days Come You'll Have No Fear! - by Patrick Clarke

Epiphanies...

I think I'm so weird because I get lots and lots of epiphanies daily..They usually last for a minute or two and at best I think about them for a couple hours. Then I snap back from reality into my little space. Where it's comfy and easier to deal with stuff. But, just today, I had one that I was unable to shrug off. When I tried to factor in the pros and cons along with the cost of ignoring it, it was indeed cheaper to throw it to the wind. But the catch would be that in the long run I'd end up with a few good stories and a whole truck load of regrets. There is no easy way to do what I must, but in order to influence the amount of good stories and regrets I end up with, I must. In this case, working hard and working smartly have no difference between them because they both cost the same. If I had ignored this..bleak future huh?damn...
Don't ignore your epiphanies...you just might be on to something...

The 1st 5 days....

The first 5 days of May have been quite insightful. I didn't know so much could happen in a few days. My eyes were opened, my thinking cleared and my resolve to continue to be who I am heightened. These past few days have really shown me why I chose to be who I am now. But as if I didn't know the before, I too had forgotten the watchwords. Compromise and sacrifice filled my thoughts. Though not bad concepts or behavior patterns, I implore you to only engage in which is profitable and reciprocated and/or worthwhile or else it will have been in vain unless of course it is for the god of whichever belief system you choose to subscribe to.

Another lesson learned from these past few days is that loyalty counts for a whole lot. As the watchwords go, "Death Before Dishonor", these are words I live by and will continue to live by. It is completely nonsensical to have you allegiance scattered in many places. Be defined, be accurate, be sure, be confident and don't place your satisfaction and confidence in the pursuit of success because if that fades you're in for a breakdown which you may not recover from.

Finally, words were made to be said, whether loosely or for meaningful purposes. Most people say things fitting for their particular situation which is not in itself a bad thing. When it is used to cover up true feelings, and repeated, that is when one becomes fake, a liar, and somewhat a thief. In the case of relationships, you are a fake because you're not showing the true you to your "partner", you're a liar because you utter misleading statements and make untrue bodily gestures to send across the message which strays from the truth and a thief in the sense that you swindle time under false pretenses. I have learned that if you do this, you will pay dearly, if not before your death, in the judgment. But hey, that's my opinion. But think of the Golden Rule. And then think of instances in which we are forbidden to render evil for evil.

Well..summer is upon us and this shall be an eventful summer..I assure you..
PC Out!

What do you do?

What do you do when you know the truth..you just want the person to admit the to the truth and repent or make a decision..whether to continue in the way they are going or choose in your favor..but the person just continues to lie and not matter what you try...they continue to lie...?What do you do?
Perfect resemblance of the situation between us & God huh?
Well..God waits until he's ready to say it is finished...when will I?

My Summer..

The most interesting summer of my life is on it's way..lmao..this one promises to knock all others out the way..jus tune in for updates as I poetically try to make sense of "My Summer"!

Give Until It Hurts....

Situations come and go..Sometimes you wish you had more control over some and well for some you wish you had less to do with them and then the balance makes you wish you were never born. My best friend once told me something. Won't say exactly what it is but the essence is that when you've been through certain situations they either make or break you and how you deal with subsequent situations show just how much you've learned and grown.
You know when you're a child and it's Christmas time and you have let's say your favorite toy/stuffed animal, Mr.Giggles. You're asked to part company with it because other less-fortunate kids have none. Honestly you don't want to but you're willing to do that if it would make Mr.Giggles happy(as children we thought they were persons too..lol.). Mr.Giggles was once mistreated and misused by someone and the said person is going to be the person to get your favorite toy. So do you give up Giggles?
This is going to be a very interesting summer. It has a lotta bearing on what's going to happen in the future.
For now I'm thinking about the performance later. Other than that there's this whole other brain that I have and it's thinking about...giving..up..my..Giggles..

P.S..This Is What Is Meant By "Give Until It Hurts"

K@TT@LY$T..

Find a way....

Are you held captive by affectionate tendencies at the behest of love? Freedom to think positively taken away by past mishaps? What are you then to do? Where is the freedom you were promised? Where is the joy that used to cover a ten mile radius from where you stood?
Well the funny thing about life is that it doesn't choose for you. It seems like it does but it doesn't. You can say no. You can say yes. You can say frig this. You can say I love you. Don't let it stop you. There is no rule written in stone saying that you have to wait for happiness or that you have to pursue the same. Don't take life too seriously though because no one gets out alive anyway. I personally don't think there can be a perfect world right now so suck it up and make the best decisions possible. I think we face trial and shit to help keep us in check. Your situations may be more messed up than others. Sadness might have forcibly become your favorite emotion. Suicide might have crossed your minds and if you're stupid enough to wanna slit that wrist let me show you how. But in the case that you wanna continue living for the few thrills we do get just know that it doesn't have to always be like that. Make the decisions and if you can't, ask for help. At the end of the day it's what makes you happy that matters. And If you can't find a way out, find a way further in.

K@TT@LY$T....

All is not lost...

Monday...Another victory..but all is not lost..a fitting reminder lest we forget that life is not only about discord but of a greater portion harmony.., pain, loss or all the other nouns and adjectives that make us wish we'd just be stabbed in the jugular one day are negated one win at a time by words like thank you or I miss you or I'm sorry and I love you..The power of I was thinking of you or you made me smile wipes clean the greasy mess of you don't mean anything to me or you don't have the power to mess up my day.Chivalry is not dead and manners is still alive and kicking..Selflessness needs some CPR and I think honesty needs it's one-a-days..Tonnes of good can be done by admitting wrongs or just coming clean..All is not lost my friends..Neither should we think of this land as God-forsaken because it is far from that. Do your part..Take your character vitamins..Yesterday really motivated me to think, act and maintain..hope you will too...

Just One Word...

Thinking deeply..examining keenly..searching for the correct term, phrase or word..I need it to describe this..the other words like complicated, unnecessary, overrated or stupid just don't seem to put quite enough flavor to the meaning and translation. Just like Jamaican creole which tends to spice expressions up a bit I'm hoping that by the time I stop writing that I'll come up with that one word..Greed, lust, envy and trust were the ingredients..What do all these make? What's the conclusion to the combination of these distasteful words? Every experience in life is supposed to teach us wisdom but yet we fail when it counts most. I now attend a university which teaches me most of my lessons...both academic and social...Here's the thing. Here's the dilemma. How far is too far? How much is too much? Obviously i haven't been prepared for this sorta situation. Just gotta improvise. Time comes to mind. Can't use that. Time wasted, never regained. Hey...That's it..Waste of time...so I'll go with this...Just One Word Out Of My Libraries of Encyclopaedia...Waste!

My Perogative...

Staring at the photos...damn...that's how I looked?Jus went in that album to catch a glimpse and now I'm hooked..I want it all back, even my consequences of being a rude child .'cuz if that's the price I'd have to pay, that's a slap on the wrist, that's mild. She was so beautiful that I wonder if I came from her because that beauty outshone everyone, anytime anywhere..He looked so happy..and strong..not to mention brave but over the years what did he save?I think he's still brave and strong but contentment didn't choose to linger.It's like you feeding someone and then they give you "the finger". I was carefree and rude, mischievous and rotten but I had intellect, that had to count for supm..Then there's the trips to the ocean and our laughs cover the photo frame now there's hardly any photos and the few are hardly ever the same. He looked out for me and I gave him a hard time..well i knew he loved me, i just thought it was a crime. Her eyes were bright and she's witty even more than me but more emotional so I guess we'll see...how well she'll deal with this when the time shall come...will she give her whole heart and then some? Well I guess you never know what you got 'til it's gone, but I kno we had it so I dnt what ya'll on...To be saying it wasn't there from the start, it didn't begin right but I dn't know what ya'll sayin cuz I ddnt witness on fight..Well I still want it back even if it's gonna kill me but at least I'll die smiling, knowing that she smiled again and put on regular weight and thought regular thoughts and spoke regular words and did regular things and even went out regularly. I guess if I don't get it all back I'll have to make it myself..and lucky be the female..cuz i'll be watching for every right move n every pitfall..and that my friends is my perogative...

Mr.Hudson - There Will Be Tears

TWBTs I’ve no doubt, there may be smiles but a few
and when the tears have run out, we’ll be numb and blue
i cant be there with you but i can dream
i still dream
OH NO! i stubbed my toe
crack comes the pain like a bullet
but at least it goes
not like us
(happiness came and went; we had a little tear and now the tears are spent)
we were trying to move forward love, but it’s tricky thru a brick wall love
what the f@£$! are we doing love? How the hell do we move forward love?
Had you had a little drink?
Did you have a little think?
Did you have a little walk along the beach and have a think?
Ignorance was so much bliss thanks.
It was bliss but then came the kiss.
My boy drove me all the way home, he said
“Son, it’s a situation. Whatever you do, there will be tears.”

It's An Action Word DimSums

You could say it in 100 different languages plus French, the words wear off in a few minutes. If the language of the body, commonly called Body Language is not included in the list you can forget about it! Even if they don't dissipate right away you can't depend on them. Actions on the other hand are totally dependable. Words and Actions complement each other....So if you say it you gotta do it or show it...People go around saying I love you whether loosely or reservedly...then their actions are either the complete opposite or stray from the mark..so how many more times do you wanna hear it? "It's An Action Word DimSums!"...And if you say stuff and it doesn't reflect in your actions, automatically, you're a liar!Dimsums!

Minds & Lies...

According to how I learned it(and I still carry these beliefs)God created perfect beings with perfect minds up until they were made corrupt by sin..Which made minds more devious and cold..Well what are you thinking about right now? Is there anyway I can hack into your mind? I'd really love to know what processes are running. The thing is that we can't read minds which makes our susceptibility to lies even greater. We can try to predict behavior based on past experiences. We can try to be domestic, untrained shrinks in our own right and try to find possible motives for different behaviors because we've "seen" this before and "that" happened.. It's pretty amazing how these predictions seem to work most of the time..until they're depended upon like a staple..hence our need for advice from friends when we're faced with different situations we can't handle on our own.
What's your worst fear? Well mine is, believe it or not, that my mind will be hacked. Not by a certain software or by a certain evil scientist in his secret lab but by the people I associate with and the influences they have on me. Have you ever seen someone change so fast it makes your head spin. What I'm trying to say peeps is that we should all try to remain in our ideas and actions. Do not be controlled by anyone. Don't be so caught up in anyone or anything that your actions are predicted and scheduled...Be full of personal integrity..Be your own boss..Control what you do and say..Don't be lied to..

This Is Madness

What The Hell Is This?How can people live like this? Just thinking about it makes me lose more pounds..Hunger Sucks!

You Got Da Most Votes..Too Bad Ya Lost..

You were everybody's favorite..Do you know how much that cost?You got the most votes but too bad ya lost...This is not an impulsive decision but by democratic polling...The election went on indoors..in the coronary chambers...Just aint the candidate to represent ME...and what I want..or need..or ever hope to achieve..The first few months were golden..u were bright..shone like a star..now it seems your sunshine has been taken away by the sunshine itself..I gotta stop being seen with you in public..So this is where it ends..will I get another of you?That strictly depends.. On the availability..the durability..the possibility...that the next will last me much longer...cuz if it don't kill me, it makes me stronger..bye bye my Converse All Star..RIP


P.S..I loved those shoes...lmao..Sorry 4 who thought it was a girl..

It's About Time...

It's about time and it's about time...It's about time improvements were made to the skeletal index of it all...but the flaws were all about time...I mean, we always say that if something is meant to happen it must but not always in the genuine sense of leaving it up to God but rather, shirking the responsibilities or using the line as a convenient get-out-of jail free card. What we don't realize is that we are really in charge of our futures...We have the power to make the decisions. Life would not be necessary had there been this definite path planned out for us...Life is a test to see how well we deal with the struggles..how informed our decisions are..how well we stick to the commitments we make...What we are then to do, since it has been discovered that we are such emotional and impulsive beings, is to never shun the impulse to help whoever we can and bring good cheer and be a positive catalyst to someone's situation. That is what we're living for. The catch is that we have been appointed once to die...Sucks huh?That's why it's about time and it's all about time. Use your time wisely...

Time & Sound

Since we're on this time subject I wanna post a poem I wrote earlier this year....Don't take it for yourself..the copyright is in order..

Time & Sound

You're everything I'm not & everything I'm supposed to be
Blessed and cursed be the day that you found me
Or was it me that found you on that night while I yearned
But happiness and sadness were the things I mostly earned

Happy that we shared some of the most treasured times in my years
Sad that the spectrum is closing and may be followed by tears
Elated that we share a bond best described divine
Depressed that there is a chance that you'll never be mine

I had searched for a love so pure for oh so long
I've found it sweety, your heart beat is my song
You're my pulse, if you should go I'd die a horrid death
Save room for my love sweet cheeks, don't leave just yet.

Its critical, so is the decision that I want you to make
It's my love I wanna give you, my heart I want you to take.
Come away with me my sweet, into pleasures of heaven untold,
My love it is guaranteed even if love's tempest should unfold!

I'm here waiting, if you want me, come get me now
I'm waiting my princess, I wont move a brow.
I'm not gonna leave, I wont budge, but time might bid me depart
So now I will declare, I love You with all of Me, even the ventricles of my heart.

Timely....

I Can't

I can't understand it..It is beyond me..I don't understand it..My intellectual capabilities are spent thinking about it..It is unfathomable..It is something that I plan to study when I get out of it..It is manipulative yet carrying a gentle demeanor..It is like being led on to think that things are going your way when in fact you're not going to be the man smiling after the smoke clears..It is wrong..It is like murdering someone's soul or driving the spirit away from them..it's like being a pastor and being sacrilegious at the same time..It is plain evil..I'll be able to give you more insight on this great evil as soon as it leaves..(which may be, the next three months or the next three years..I don't know. I cannot decide..Only God can save from this..

Karma

When it bites you in the ass you're f*%$ed...Its the definition and the realization of those things that you thought could have never happened to you..Its what makes nonsense of the orderly and sensible things in your life..If you do wrong its bound to happen to you...Call it consequences...call it the devil @ work...or call it obeah..call it God's curse or Buddha trampling on your life..Whatever you call it, it cannot be escaped..It cannot be avoided..because doing wrong is woven deeply into the fabric of our personas..But wait..it can be avoided..just do right.Just Do It!!

Have you ever?

Everyone can read this..intended 4 da ladies tho..

Disclaimer: The only formal parts of this blog will be this introduction and explanation for each part written so if you can't read and understand patois get someone who does. These are general statements and pertain to no one person...

Lemme present a few scenarios to get the point out there more clearly...

Yuh ever hear a mada a cuss har pitney an seh, "Yuh tan jus like yuh fada!" An di mada still deh wid di pitney fada..shi nah leff him altho him a eediat n she woulda talk di worse bout him and she woulda chat any oda ooman whe inna di same position n hav di same ways...

Yuh ever c a girl a gi har man bun n then yuh have a Miss Goody 2 Shoes call har all sorta name n look down pon har a way..then when yuh check it out Miss Goody 2 Shoes a do di same damn ting n worse..ppl whe a look nuh c it..n Miss Goody 2 Shoes slandah ppl who do dem ting deh n try fi paint di saint pikcha..

Explanation for Scenarios..
Well, if you have ever heard of, witnessed any of the aforementioned scenarios then you would agree with me that the 2 characters mentioned above are the worst type of hypocrites..Religious authorities say no sin is greater than any..so y is there the concept of cardinal sins? In my summation of hypocrisy, the two examples I gave above are the worst types. How do these people feel? How do these people function? You may ask a myriad of questions. Then your phone rings while reading this and it's one of your friends calling you with the latest scoop...you talk..hang up..go back to reading this..and think about the characters in ma examples above..what bitches..what whores..they don't deserve any good men..! Well I'll say this generally, you are calling yourself such and pronouncing the judgement on yourself..lol..seriously..look in2 it..have you ever done shit like that?Or close..or even worse?LOL..You just did it a minute ago on the phone(for example)..I swear if I'm ever with a girl or in a girl's company again and hear them talking about another chick like that..I'ma stop doing what I normally do(which is shutting up) and just say, "Shut yuh raas..u a di same ting!"
Try me..I'm so serious..And once again...Hidden deeds are like photos in a dark room...They stay in the dark until they develop, get fully visible and can't be hidden anymore..LOL..That shit deep! So if you think no one knows..somebody already does or will...So don't go around criticizing...and judging..if you know you're the same thing...
Aight..mi a guh tek whe miself now!

Trust

Forlorn and left to die and emotionless death but if this is a dream why in God's name can't I wake up yet? Living on the street 2 Much Denial, once again my trust must go on stand in trial. What if, what if not...Who was, who will be shot? My judge's gavel of a heart won't stop fighting for you but you return to "The Life" like most ex-cons do. This time 'We' believe in your innocence which to the 'prosecution' doesn't make much sense. Hung juries and cups of coffee in hindsight, the scenario is dim so please shed some light. You want 'us' to believe the 'fact' is actually true, and now I'm being 'badgered' when it should be you. I cannot be your lawyer, your judge, your jury and your witness, that's to much to ask, that is utter sickness! Like Mr.Runkle, I'd be torn between, I'd have to take the fall while you flee the scene. Yup, they're calling for more bagels, the jury's hung 1-10, Innocent or Guilty..Again.'You' wonder what the final verdict will be, but it doesn't matter because "The Truth Will Set 'Us' Free!